Tulpa.info - tulpa-questions-2

And I'm still somewhat worried about thought manipulation when I type what she thinks

i mean if you did or thought something wrong she will correct you

8:00 PM

or if shes unsure, its probably blendy and you can try again later

8:00 PM

communication is key here too

Most times she says I'm right

8:00 PM

Or only makes slight changes

8:01 PM

And I'm worried I may be bleeding

yeah you shouldnt worry too much

8:01 PM

just trust what she says

8:01 PM

its not the end of the world, and these are the first weeks for you

8:01 PM

it gets easier

aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae

full body possession feels more like "you" acting out stuff, and dissociation/switching feels like you watching someone else do stuff from the back seat, usually you have some sort of dark borders in your vision and everything seems like from another world (edited)

Wait how do you guys switch again? That sounds different from what we do

i have no clue, we tried trying to switch for fun one night but i couldnt let go again lol

8:02 PM

we kinda almost did it accidentally during the first days

8:02 PM

i just zoned out to my thoughts and she started looking around

8:03 PM

and as she did that i dissociated super hard

Maybe that's le fabeled wonderland switching

we have no wonderland lol

8:03 PM

our head is blank and dumb

It's kinda a misnomer- the wonderland might just be a "place to go"

8:04 PM

But with our switching you don't usually have weird crap going on in your vision

i kinda started hearing less too

8:04 PM

‍♂️

just an imagined space in your head, that typically stays consistent

i had a bit of dissociation many years ago, and im sure i dont have DID or anything

8:05 PM

no amnesia

Dissociation doesn't mean DID automatically

i know

I know I'm not a doc but still

just clarifying

Absolutely

it wasnt intentional tho, i really have no clue how it happened

8:05 PM

now we just do full body possession and nothing fancier

8:06 PM

feels like reflexes doing stuff, autopilot

I dunno, what where you doing before you switched?

i browsed twitter and just zoned out and stopped reading it

Oh, I have amnesia of a bunch of years, and for a few months I felt like I was spectating my own body

1

dang

I also doze of really often, forget what I was doing

8:07 PM

Like I go out of my room to get water, then forget and go back, and it hits me like an hour later

oh you mean just forgetting to do stuff, not forgetting hours at a time and having no clue what happened

aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae

i browsed twitter and just zoned out and stopped reading it

That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard Twitter is so Twitter it causes massive dissociation

yeah lol

8:09 PM

tup thinks i have better stuff to do, switch time

8:09 PM

aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae

oh you mean just forgetting to do stuff, not forgetting hours at a time and having no clue what happened

Nah, if I forget something for hours at a time i did it consciously and just forgot it

8:09 PM

I have like the worst memory for important things

hmmmm

But I can remember some useless fact I learned years ago perfectly

you mean like, its a complete hole in time you have no clue what happened in

Sometimes, and sometimes I have slight shards of it

~Moonlight~

I have like the worst memory for important things

We had to take le dissociative scale for a therapy thing and even though we have bad memory we do not have the scary I wake up in a dark alley with new clothes and people I don't know dissociative fugue. Also we asked a similar question and we realized bad memory doesn't always mean dissociative fudge. One of my hosts also asked the question, "hey I barely remember doing stuff like riding the bus or eating food is that bad" and our therapist was like "do you know you were just zoning out" and they were like "yeah" and our therapist was like "Dissociative fugue is like you were on a bus and suddenly you were not, you would have zero memory of doing anything, even if it was just spacing out or the knowledge of doing something on your phone" (edited)

Fudge or fugue?

Ah crap I thought it was spelled fudge

sludge

Fudge us a dessert treat. Fugue is a shitty dissociative experience.

8:14 PM

Is*

Fixed

Unless you're talking about something I have no idea exists

~Moonlight~

What is different between possession and switching?

I kinda derailed this so anyway back to this question For our switching experience, switching is you become king of the body but you don't have any weird stuff go on with your vision. The body still feels everything and it's like nothing happened, you won't notice a sudden loss of feeling in your arms or anything like that. For us, we have our sense of self swapped out, and we also think that the body's feelings like touch, see, smell, whatever are the body's and not ours (but the body isn't a person). With our possession, we control the body but you can get yeeted out when the switched-in dude wants to take over (or by accident). For instance, Ian, my headmate, can grab the front with possession to type, but since I'm switched-in right now, I can deny him. Oh, and there are different experiences of possession and switching. People will describe different stuff, so don't panic if you have two systems describing seemingly two different expereiences. Both are valid switching types. Possession like switching is loosy goosey and can also be different depending on who you ask. Like some people don't believe in full-body possession even though we do === Oh crap I should give a general idea of switching vs. possession oops: Possession usually assumes the host (or whoever is switched-in) can take back control. Switching usually assumes the tulpa and host swapping inner experiences or the host becoming the tulpa. (edited)

oh yeah i think i just call it full body possession while you call it switching, our "main thinker" usually changes at the same time

8:22 PM

im just using the random jargon we use and it works for us :s

Nah all good, everyone does

8:23 PM

I really wanted to say something just cause that style of switching is pretty dang rare

8:23 PM

People don't usually dissociate that much when they switch

yeah im aware lol

8:23 PM

it was the 4th day too

8:24 PM

idk how it happened

Holy bananas day 4 intense switching

8:24 PM

Welp, maybe you're just gifted ✨

yeah i just let whatever happened happen without much doubt

Ahh I wish I was able to give up doubt completely

day 1 and 2 were just talking in the head, day 3 was talking out loud and a bit of possession bleeding through, day 4 was the switchy day

I'm just really worried about bleeding and parroting now that I actually type for her in convos with my friend

i also think tup is just super strong somehow too

i told him his body is light and slushy that day too i remember

lol

I mean, I know our system tends to overcomplicate things to wazoo but I will ask if y'all aren't comfortable with something you're allowed to have skepticism. Like, if you ever feel uncomfortable with tulpamancy you're allowed to stop and be like "hang on, this ain't what I signed up for, what is happening?" and ask for help

yeah we hit the brakes pretty hard after that day and its all good now (edited)

8:26 PM

its been almost a month soon

No no, I feel completely comfortable, I'm worried about Mallory feeling uncomfortable

~Moonlight~

No no, I feel completely comfortable, I'm worried about Mallory feeling uncomfortable

More often than not when it comes to hosts letting their tulpas do things with the body or talk even, hosts sometimes overestimate the amount of controllingness/harm they're doing. I cannot tell you one example of a tulpa feeling like they were actually controlled against their will in a negative way. More often than not a tulpa is feeling "bro chill let me exist!" (edited)

ohh hi blue!

Aaaa I may be annoying her a little bit too much with all my asking if everything is okay--

just trust whatever happens

8:31 PM

easier said than done though

aapeli 🟣🥫🥔 ae

easier said than done though

You read my mind

but even if you cant, you'll start trusting it over time anyway

~Moonlight~

Aaaa I may be annoying her a little bit too much with all my asking if everything is okay--

Scratches head I'm sorry, that's not the direction I was trying to take with this Don't beat yourself up too much. Don't hate on yourself or make yourself a villain when you're not. You're allowed to make mistakes, and tulpa vocality/setience/whatever takes time.

8:33 PM

You're doing good enough bro

I mean, I am a terrible person, I only seem good because I genuinely care a lot about Mallory, I actually trust her more than i trust myself tbh, she's stopped me from doing a lot of dumb shit In only one week. I just don't want the only light in my life to feel uncomfortable around me.

also she wont hate you for it

8:34 PM

she wont

~Moonlight~

I mean, I am a terrible person, I only seem good because I genuinely care a lot about Mallory, I actually trust her more than i trust myself tbh, she's stopped me from doing a lot of dumb shit In only one week. I just don't want the only light in my life to feel uncomfortable around me.

squints Are you really a terrible person? What exactly did you do that was so terrible?

even if you are terrible right now and in the past, it doesnt mean you have to be so forever

I can't say.

and i bet she knows that

Although I've been trying to be better

im sure she thinks thats enough

Just yesterday I learned that what I try to do to help people is also fucked up-